Simply Brett - A Defense of Infidelity
Brett (I refuse to refer to her as Lady Brett Ashley) is very possibly my favorite character in this novel. She's been criticized over and over again for "playing Jake" and "being unfaithful", and I feel the need to defend her a little. (Keep in mind that this is a very subjective, perhaps very mistaken discussion Brett's character - feel free to attack/bolster me in the comments!)
We act as if she's made a promise of fidelity to Jake when she declares that she is in love with him, but no - both of them acknowledge that they wouldn't be able to satisfy each other because of the nature of their relationship. Why then, is she required to be "faithful" to him?
I also just don't think the idea of "love" means as much to Brett what it might mean to us, or to Jake. "Love", I think, is a coping mechanism. I think Brett might seek drama and whirlwind scandals and, indeed, surface-level "love" in order to try and ignore what's really lurking behind all the excitement. The outer emotions she expresses seem to be a sort of shield for her. There are some emotions, such as "love" or "gaiety" that she uses as a sort of buffer against the rawer emotions on the inside (such as sorrow, or a sense of powerlessness). She has lots of "emotional" relationships with men so that these scandals, these more trivial (perhaps safer) emotions occupy her mind rather than memories of her past. Just as it is easier for us to focus on her surface expression, she finds it easier to dwell in louder, brighter, more obvious emotions than to think about what really lies inside.
And although some of us may despise her for her "infidelity", can we really blame her? Perhaps infidelity and scandal is the only way she keeps her head above the waves that threaten to crash over her - in this way, she can ignore her past. I think her lifestyle now is a product of her life with Lord Ashley, a reminder that he - that everyone, really - has no power over her. The second she lets any man have power over her, especially emotionally, is the second she compromises herself: "I've got to do something. I've got to do something I really want to do. I've lost my self-respect", she says, when referencing Cohn and Mike's behavior towards her infidelity. This is why she hides herself emotionally to most, afraid that they'll be able to use her own emotions against her (as perhaps Ashley did).
I think she keeps coming back to Jake because he is the one relationship she can maintain without having to worry about possessiveness. She likes him best (or loves him best) because he allows her to "fall in love" and dally with other people. A faithful relationship with Jake, then, would be impossible - what she likes most about him is that he allows her to be unfaithful, allows her to have control over her own affairs. He doesn't try to exert any form of power over her, and instead lets her do as she desires. I'd argue that Brett's only real relationship is with Jake, and their relationship is only sustained on the terms of her infidelity. If Jake, then, is being "played" by Brett, he knows full well that he is and accepts her terms.
We act as if she's made a promise of fidelity to Jake when she declares that she is in love with him, but no - both of them acknowledge that they wouldn't be able to satisfy each other because of the nature of their relationship. Why then, is she required to be "faithful" to him?
I also just don't think the idea of "love" means as much to Brett what it might mean to us, or to Jake. "Love", I think, is a coping mechanism. I think Brett might seek drama and whirlwind scandals and, indeed, surface-level "love" in order to try and ignore what's really lurking behind all the excitement. The outer emotions she expresses seem to be a sort of shield for her. There are some emotions, such as "love" or "gaiety" that she uses as a sort of buffer against the rawer emotions on the inside (such as sorrow, or a sense of powerlessness). She has lots of "emotional" relationships with men so that these scandals, these more trivial (perhaps safer) emotions occupy her mind rather than memories of her past. Just as it is easier for us to focus on her surface expression, she finds it easier to dwell in louder, brighter, more obvious emotions than to think about what really lies inside.
And although some of us may despise her for her "infidelity", can we really blame her? Perhaps infidelity and scandal is the only way she keeps her head above the waves that threaten to crash over her - in this way, she can ignore her past. I think her lifestyle now is a product of her life with Lord Ashley, a reminder that he - that everyone, really - has no power over her. The second she lets any man have power over her, especially emotionally, is the second she compromises herself: "I've got to do something. I've got to do something I really want to do. I've lost my self-respect", she says, when referencing Cohn and Mike's behavior towards her infidelity. This is why she hides herself emotionally to most, afraid that they'll be able to use her own emotions against her (as perhaps Ashley did).
I think she keeps coming back to Jake because he is the one relationship she can maintain without having to worry about possessiveness. She likes him best (or loves him best) because he allows her to "fall in love" and dally with other people. A faithful relationship with Jake, then, would be impossible - what she likes most about him is that he allows her to be unfaithful, allows her to have control over her own affairs. He doesn't try to exert any form of power over her, and instead lets her do as she desires. I'd argue that Brett's only real relationship is with Jake, and their relationship is only sustained on the terms of her infidelity. If Jake, then, is being "played" by Brett, he knows full well that he is and accepts her terms.
I really like this view of Brett. It gives you a lot of sympathy for her. On the surface it looks like Brett is manipulative and likes the drama, but she has her own emotional baggage. It's like her "infidelity" is her facade, her hard-boiledness. She uses her relationships to try to ignore her trauma, like how Jake uses his hyper-masculinity to ignore his feelings. But both of them can't keep up the act forever. Jake lets go when he's alone and Brett lets go when she's with Jake.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a really good point. Brett definitely has gone through a lot, and it makes sense that she may choose to be in relationships with guys like Mike and Cohn because they make her feel like she has more power. I also like your point about how she keeps going back to Jake. He understands her better than anyone else, and lets her be who she is even though we know that it hurts him inside. They definitely have an atypical relationship, but nonetheless it does stem from love.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this, though I also love Brett so my opinion may also be skewed. I think that, as you point out, she has never promised to be faithful to Jake, and therefore she's not committing infidelity. In fact, she outright tells him that even if they were ever together, she would cheat. Though I am empathetic towards Jake, as it's not easy to see the person you love sleep with others, I also feel that Brett has a right to do as she pleases. She has set her boundaries and both she and Jake know of their circumstances, so why should she not?
ReplyDeleteI think this is interesting because its something I've been struggling with. I am torn between liking Brett for her independence, but also pitying Jake for the situation he is in with regards to Brett (in reference to how some would say she's leading him on). Your closing point about how the reason Jake and Brett work is because they're not exclusive and Jake "allows" Brett to do as she pleases really struck me because of this. They always talk about how they could be great together but it would never work and that frustrated me so much, because how do you know it won't work if you don't try? But if the functionality of their current relationship is based on them not being exclusive to one another, then it puts them in a paradox where, as they say, it would never work out if they tried to go further.
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting...love as a coping mechanism? That would explain much of Brett's behavior, and does make me feel more sympathetic towards her. I honestly feel your last paragraph's analysis of Brett and Jake's relationship is spot on, about how Jake doesn't try to control what Brett does. In that aspect, I wonder if Lord Ashley's controlling, possessive character was what Brett was afraid of, and possibly another reason of why she dislikes Cohn - he's a very clingy, controlling man.
ReplyDeleteI was really torn between Brett as a character and my appreciation for Jake. I see the flaws and scars in both characters. After reading about her abusive past, it really explained a lot. The fact that Brett is so confident and open all the time is sometimes a front, to prevent people from seeing all the pain she hides. There is a saying that the people who smile the brightest and often the ones who suffer the most. I think this quote is applicable to Brett's character, as someone who doesn't allow many people except for Jake, to see her suffering.
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting how you say Brett keeps coming back to Jake because she isn't worried about possessiveness. It makes me wonder if she'd be more worried about it if she had been abused more in the past. Certainly she'd be more distrustful of men if this were true, but I'm not sure if that would carry over to Jake. She has a previous connection with him so that could lead her to trust him more, but I think she might be less likely to go back to him as much. She might still go back out of habit, but I think she would be warier.
ReplyDeleteI really like this post! Part of the reason why I think Brett and Jake are good friends is that they both understand that love does not equal sex, and vice versa. It frustrates me that Brett gets hate for her promiscuity, when there are plenty of men doing the same. I think that bouncing from relationship to relationship is her coping mechanism, because she does not want to dwell on her past relationships that actually mean something to her, but I wouldn't call it love.
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